FAT MAMMA don't lie so I am puttin' it out there. I GAINED weight. 3 pounds to be exact.(so 10% no more) The good things are that I knew it was coming, I knew exactly what I did to "earn" three pounds, I know that I need to get back on track and I am MOTIVATED. I am hoping to lose some more weight before the holiday season so I can enjoy some of the temptations that may come my way!
In other news, I am so motivated to lose weight and try new things that I signed up for a half marathon. Yep...me running 13.1 miles. I will be training with Team in Training to benefit the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society so I know the support and training will be great. This also means that I will be fundraising for the society to help eradicate blood cancers. Did you know that every 4 minutes someone in the United States is diagnosed with a blood cancer? Just think about that for a while and then you will know why I am going to be raising funds for such a great cause. If you would like to join me for the Nike Women's Half Marathon in DC on April 28, 2013, let me know! Word on the street is that you get a "Little Blue Box" at the end and it is presented to you by some very HANDSOME fellas!
Fat Momma
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Prize Post Update
Thank you to those of you that emailed me with your guesses about the picture. No one was "correct" but my Aunt Linda and Sister-in-Law were close! The key chain that I featured is the Weight Watchers 10% key chain. Each member that loses 10% of their body weight is given this key chain. It is quite an accomplishment. Some people reach 10% at 10 lbs and some reach 10% at 50 lbs. I had to lose 19 lbs to reach my 10%. On October 12, 2012, I weighed in at 172.6 lbs for a total of 19.4 lbs lost! This was one proud FAT MAMMA! I walked out of that meeting with a little hop in my step, my head held high and a huge smile on my face.
Apology
I have to apologize to the people that actually take the time to check-up and read this blog. FAT MAMMA has been on a "life strike" as I am calling it. If you recall, several weeks ago I wrote about my own personal Hell on Earth. I'm kinda still there. Things are "getting better" but I am still on "strike". My emotions are up, down and all around. I thank my lucky stars every day that I have the Hubs, my kids, my parents, my in-laws, and a few good friends because they have gotten me through the past 29 days by visiting, calling, and letting me vent & cry. I want to be better and get back to my good ole' life (minus the FAT MAMMA part) but I am just really having a hard time. So stick with me and I promise I will try to be a better blogger.
I haven't weighed in since 10/12/12- almost two weeks. I have been busy and by busy I mean eating like shit. I know I have gained weight and it makes me want to vomit thinking about all of the crap that I have had in the past two weeks. So as of right now, 8:26 PM on 10/24/12, I am back on track. Today I started tracking my points, weighing my food, and thinking about EVERYTHING that went into my mouth. I will weigh in on Saturday morning knowing that I have gained weight. Maybe a pound, maybe 5 pounds. Am I ok with it? NO. Will I accept it and move on? YES.
Here is my plan:
-track my points
-plan meals in advance
-get moving
-sign up for my next 5k (Thanksgiving Day)
-sign up for a 1/2 marathon with TNT (more on that later)
For those of you that know me well, I do better with a plan. Hopefully, with this plan I will keep myself accountable. I am also asking for your help...call me, email me, text me...ask me what I am doing to be active today, what am I eating today? I know there are a few people that read this but a few extra "reminders" will really help me! THANKS in advance!
So like I said, thanks to those of you that are still following me on what has turned into more of a life journey than a weight loss journey. I will win and I will get back to the old FAT MAMMA.
I haven't weighed in since 10/12/12- almost two weeks. I have been busy and by busy I mean eating like shit. I know I have gained weight and it makes me want to vomit thinking about all of the crap that I have had in the past two weeks. So as of right now, 8:26 PM on 10/24/12, I am back on track. Today I started tracking my points, weighing my food, and thinking about EVERYTHING that went into my mouth. I will weigh in on Saturday morning knowing that I have gained weight. Maybe a pound, maybe 5 pounds. Am I ok with it? NO. Will I accept it and move on? YES.
Here is my plan:
-track my points
-plan meals in advance
-get moving
-sign up for my next 5k (Thanksgiving Day)
-sign up for a 1/2 marathon with TNT (more on that later)
For those of you that know me well, I do better with a plan. Hopefully, with this plan I will keep myself accountable. I am also asking for your help...call me, email me, text me...ask me what I am doing to be active today, what am I eating today? I know there are a few people that read this but a few extra "reminders" will really help me! THANKS in advance!
So like I said, thanks to those of you that are still following me on what has turned into more of a life journey than a weight loss journey. I will win and I will get back to the old FAT MAMMA.
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Prize Post
So, this is the first ever FAT MAMMA prize post. The first person to correctly identify this object will win a prize. Please be specific in your response...it is obviously a key chain but what kind/significance of a key chain? If you know the answer please email FAT MAMMA at jimandkellythomas(at)yahoo(dot)com. I can't put the link or I get too much spam! :) Once someone has correctly identified and "explained" the object below I will do a post about it! Good luck!
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Back on the Train
This FAT MAMMA loves to go on vacations. I have been on some pretty amazing ones: England, Mexico, South Africa, and just about every state in the US. I have also been on a more unknown vacation...a diet vacation. Yep, that's right. I hopped off the Weight Loss Journey train about 10 days ago. I can't say that I enjoyed every minute of it because I felt GUILTY! However, I did let myself enjoy some food/beverages that I haven't had in a few months. Well, today I got back on the train and I am riding smooth.
The past couple of weeks have been really tough as you all know. I have also admitted to myself (and all that read this blog) that I am a stress/emotional eater. I have now told myself that just because I am tackling some pretty severe mental/emotional issues, I can not support myself by eating shitty food. And by shitty, I mean good, yummy, make you feel happy food.
I didn't weigh in this week because of the race and I am happy b/c I know that I would have been up. I still weigh myself every day and I am up about 1-2 lbs depending on the day. I am also being visited my that wonderful womanly monthly visitor (sorry male readers) and I have heard that some women's weight can fluctuate 1-7 lbs during this time!
Anyways, I am back on the journey and ready to kick some FAT MAMMA ass. Hopefully, I will find some inspiration for posts this week. Kinda in a funk...banana bread...that's it, I will blog about the almost fat free banana bread that I made!
The past couple of weeks have been really tough as you all know. I have also admitted to myself (and all that read this blog) that I am a stress/emotional eater. I have now told myself that just because I am tackling some pretty severe mental/emotional issues, I can not support myself by eating shitty food. And by shitty, I mean good, yummy, make you feel happy food.
I didn't weigh in this week because of the race and I am happy b/c I know that I would have been up. I still weigh myself every day and I am up about 1-2 lbs depending on the day. I am also being visited my that wonderful womanly monthly visitor (sorry male readers) and I have heard that some women's weight can fluctuate 1-7 lbs during this time!
Anyways, I am back on the journey and ready to kick some FAT MAMMA ass. Hopefully, I will find some inspiration for posts this week. Kinda in a funk...banana bread...that's it, I will blog about the almost fat free banana bread that I made!
 |
| I better get my ASS in gear or this will be me on my next vacation! YIKES |
Saturday, October 6, 2012
First One Is In The Bag
I DID IT!!!! I ran my first 5k. I am pretty damn proud of myself. Up until Tuesday of this week, the longest I had ran was 5 minutes straight. On Tuesday, I went out for what I thought would be a run/walk combo. I knew that I was going to probably be walking more than running. Once I got going I realized that it was easier to just run and I ended up running 2.2 miles straight. That took me about 34 minutes.
So going into this morning's run I figured it would probably take me about 45 minutes to finish 3.1 miles. I was ok with this...my goal was to finish and not be the last to finish. I could give you the play by play but I will make it short. I would estimate that I ran all but maybe .3 miles. I had to walk three times and each time was only for a minute or two. There were a couple of hills...two that I got angry at! The first one was in the first mile and it was long...I ran up the whole thing. The second one was in the last half mile. I was PISSED but towards the middle of the last hill I could see the finish banner! YAHOO! I made it up the hill (running the whole way) and made it into the final stretch. Addy, Jim , Peyton and Katie were about 15 feet from the finish line cheering me on and it felt great. I looked at the clock and I came in at 37 minutes and some change! YAHOOOOOOO.
I am so glad I did this and I am SO glad that Katie was there to do it with me. She is a stronger runner so she went ahead and I am happy that she did b/c she was there when I finished! Now here is the best part about the race...the beer trucks were open and serving when we finished! Yep...we had our first beer in our hands by 9:15 am! Next, it was time for Addy to do the kids race. This was a joke...she was in the 4 and under category and there were a LOT of little kids so Addy was forced to WALK her race. She was really disappointed but she says she still had fun! While I was waiting for Addy to start her race I turned around to see my friend Maggie standing there. Katie had arranged for Maggie to be there to cheer us on!
After Addy's "race" we all sat down with our beers, well Katie and I did, and enjoyed the live music and beautiful weather. All in all...a pretty damn good morning after what have been some pretty shitty weeks. FAT MAMMA had a smile on her face, laughs out of her mouth, a sense of accomplishment on her mind, and happiness in her heart. Just what I needed.
**I am a blabber mouth...I said this would not be the play by play but it is...too bad.**
So going into this morning's run I figured it would probably take me about 45 minutes to finish 3.1 miles. I was ok with this...my goal was to finish and not be the last to finish. I could give you the play by play but I will make it short. I would estimate that I ran all but maybe .3 miles. I had to walk three times and each time was only for a minute or two. There were a couple of hills...two that I got angry at! The first one was in the first mile and it was long...I ran up the whole thing. The second one was in the last half mile. I was PISSED but towards the middle of the last hill I could see the finish banner! YAHOO! I made it up the hill (running the whole way) and made it into the final stretch. Addy, Jim , Peyton and Katie were about 15 feet from the finish line cheering me on and it felt great. I looked at the clock and I came in at 37 minutes and some change! YAHOOOOOOO.
I am so glad I did this and I am SO glad that Katie was there to do it with me. She is a stronger runner so she went ahead and I am happy that she did b/c she was there when I finished! Now here is the best part about the race...the beer trucks were open and serving when we finished! Yep...we had our first beer in our hands by 9:15 am! Next, it was time for Addy to do the kids race. This was a joke...she was in the 4 and under category and there were a LOT of little kids so Addy was forced to WALK her race. She was really disappointed but she says she still had fun! While I was waiting for Addy to start her race I turned around to see my friend Maggie standing there. Katie had arranged for Maggie to be there to cheer us on!
After Addy's "race" we all sat down with our beers, well Katie and I did, and enjoyed the live music and beautiful weather. All in all...a pretty damn good morning after what have been some pretty shitty weeks. FAT MAMMA had a smile on her face, laughs out of her mouth, a sense of accomplishment on her mind, and happiness in her heart. Just what I needed.
 |
| At the finish...beer in hands. No I did not run with Peyton on my chest! |
**I am a blabber mouth...I said this would not be the play by play but it is...too bad.**
Monday, October 1, 2012
I'm Not Gonna Lie
Beware...this is a long post. Fat Mamma don't lie so I am gonna lay it all out for you. The past three weeks have been the hardest weeks of my life. My own personal Hell on Earth. I have known for many years that I had some "inner demons" that played tricks with my head...making me feel things about myself that I knew weren't true, things that at the moment were terrible but with a little positive thinking, were gone with the blink of an eye. No, I don't mean that I heard voices...the only voice was my own telling me that I wasn't good enough, not smart enough, and other stupid thoughts like that.
So when I started "getting down on myself" a couple of weeks ago, I figured I just needed to shake it off and get back on the ball. Well, as hard as I tried and the more I tried to shake the negative thoughts, the worse it got. Work was stressing me out beyond belief and it started impacting my life at home. I was constantly sad, angry, short tempered, tired and always feeling guilty about "something". I realized that self talk wasn't going to cut it. I was in BAD shape. Finally, I broke. I reached my lowest...I called the hubs upset last Tuesday and told him that I wanted to go to sleep and not wake up. I guess to some people this would be considered suicidal but I don't think so. At no point did I have any intent on harming myself...I just wanted to sleep...FOREVER.
The hubs came right home, talking to me the entire way. We knew that we had to make a plan to get myself healthy and back to myself. I mean come on...I have a wonderful family, great friends and I am kicking ass on my weight loss journey! So...I made the first available appt with my Psychiatrist, knowing that I had tried everything I could without being able to shake the funk. At my appointment it was very apparent to her that we had to do something fast before I got any worse. After talking to her and her deciding to make some medication changes, she also decided that I needed to take a leave of absence from work. She said there was NO amount or combination of medications that were going to help me get better without being able to take time for myself. This was like a kick in the stomach.
I am proud to be a teacher. Yes, the pay sucks, we are not respected like we should be, and demands grow and grow each year. BUT the idea that I am helping to shape young peoples' minds is an awesome feeling. However, what my doctor was saying came through loud and clear, I have to take a break to get myself healthy before I can help anyone else. Luckily, I have a wonderful husband that understood 100% and just wants his wife back.
You all know how close my mom and I are, best friends. Well, she has known for a couple of weeks that I was on a downward slide and had kept asking if I needed her to come up. I kept saying no, I can deal with it, I will be fine. On Tuesday, when I was so so low, she called the hubs and asked if she should come and he said yes. My mom immediately dropped everything, in Ohio where she was visiting friends and flew to be by my side. Sometimes you need your mom...1 or 31, age doesn't matter. When my Mom got here, I just cried, and cried.
So it has been almost a week since I was at my lowest and I am still pretty low. I can't quite grasp the idea of taking time for myself. I am still worrying about work...feeling like I need to be making plans and doing things. I feel so guilty that I have let my coworkers down, even though the tell me that they understand and they just want me better. I still feel like I can't just sit down at home for an hour and read a book or watch trash TV, that I should be cleaning or doing something like that.
This afternoon, I have an appt with a therapist that I have been seeing for about a month. Most of our discussions centered around the stress of work and how to help myself feel better about doing the best I can and not worry about what others think. I have a feeling today we will change that focus on how I can get myself to let go of the grief and guilty feelings. After today, I will start with a new therapist who focuses on anxiety and behavior modification. I am not "excited" but I am feeling a bit of hope. I am really struggling with feeling like I am never going to feel like the old FAT MAMMA . I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel, I don't feel like this HELL is ever going to end. I know it will but I just can't see it right now.
My mom and dad left today, hubs is at work, kids are at school , and I am home with the dog. I am going to try my best to relax and not feel guilty/get upset...really I will try my best but I can't make any promises. But before I end this horribly depressing (sorry) post, I do have one piece of good news: I lost another pound this week. I am now down 18.4lbs. I am now only .6lbs away from my 10% goal. I know this week will be hard...I am home by myself all day...I think I should sit on the couch and eat crap all day BUT I am going to try and get myself out and walking/running. The 5k is SATURDAY and I am going to do it. I am in no way ready for it but I signed up for it and I am not backing down. I may take an hour and walk the whole thing but I am going to do it.
So when I started "getting down on myself" a couple of weeks ago, I figured I just needed to shake it off and get back on the ball. Well, as hard as I tried and the more I tried to shake the negative thoughts, the worse it got. Work was stressing me out beyond belief and it started impacting my life at home. I was constantly sad, angry, short tempered, tired and always feeling guilty about "something". I realized that self talk wasn't going to cut it. I was in BAD shape. Finally, I broke. I reached my lowest...I called the hubs upset last Tuesday and told him that I wanted to go to sleep and not wake up. I guess to some people this would be considered suicidal but I don't think so. At no point did I have any intent on harming myself...I just wanted to sleep...FOREVER.
The hubs came right home, talking to me the entire way. We knew that we had to make a plan to get myself healthy and back to myself. I mean come on...I have a wonderful family, great friends and I am kicking ass on my weight loss journey! So...I made the first available appt with my Psychiatrist, knowing that I had tried everything I could without being able to shake the funk. At my appointment it was very apparent to her that we had to do something fast before I got any worse. After talking to her and her deciding to make some medication changes, she also decided that I needed to take a leave of absence from work. She said there was NO amount or combination of medications that were going to help me get better without being able to take time for myself. This was like a kick in the stomach.
I am proud to be a teacher. Yes, the pay sucks, we are not respected like we should be, and demands grow and grow each year. BUT the idea that I am helping to shape young peoples' minds is an awesome feeling. However, what my doctor was saying came through loud and clear, I have to take a break to get myself healthy before I can help anyone else. Luckily, I have a wonderful husband that understood 100% and just wants his wife back.
You all know how close my mom and I are, best friends. Well, she has known for a couple of weeks that I was on a downward slide and had kept asking if I needed her to come up. I kept saying no, I can deal with it, I will be fine. On Tuesday, when I was so so low, she called the hubs and asked if she should come and he said yes. My mom immediately dropped everything, in Ohio where she was visiting friends and flew to be by my side. Sometimes you need your mom...1 or 31, age doesn't matter. When my Mom got here, I just cried, and cried.
So it has been almost a week since I was at my lowest and I am still pretty low. I can't quite grasp the idea of taking time for myself. I am still worrying about work...feeling like I need to be making plans and doing things. I feel so guilty that I have let my coworkers down, even though the tell me that they understand and they just want me better. I still feel like I can't just sit down at home for an hour and read a book or watch trash TV, that I should be cleaning or doing something like that.
This afternoon, I have an appt with a therapist that I have been seeing for about a month. Most of our discussions centered around the stress of work and how to help myself feel better about doing the best I can and not worry about what others think. I have a feeling today we will change that focus on how I can get myself to let go of the grief and guilty feelings. After today, I will start with a new therapist who focuses on anxiety and behavior modification. I am not "excited" but I am feeling a bit of hope. I am really struggling with feeling like I am never going to feel like the old FAT MAMMA . I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel, I don't feel like this HELL is ever going to end. I know it will but I just can't see it right now.
My mom and dad left today, hubs is at work, kids are at school , and I am home with the dog. I am going to try my best to relax and not feel guilty/get upset...really I will try my best but I can't make any promises. But before I end this horribly depressing (sorry) post, I do have one piece of good news: I lost another pound this week. I am now down 18.4lbs. I am now only .6lbs away from my 10% goal. I know this week will be hard...I am home by myself all day...I think I should sit on the couch and eat crap all day BUT I am going to try and get myself out and walking/running. The 5k is SATURDAY and I am going to do it. I am in no way ready for it but I signed up for it and I am not backing down. I may take an hour and walk the whole thing but I am going to do it.
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