Today I feel like crap, like a real FAT MAMMA. Two things are weighing heavy on my mind today:
Reason 1: Last night I splurged. My college roommate is in town for work and last night Hubs watched the munchkins so Brooke and I could do some shopping and hanging out. Before we left I made "yummy" meal. Summer Vegetables with Sausage and Potatoes. Sounds good, right? Well it wasn't. It sucked. I think it was just the chicken sausage that I didn't like. Regardless, I wasn't going to waste points on something that didn't taste yummy. So Brooke and I headed out for some shopping and decided to stop at a local establishment for a bite to eat and a drink. Well, A drink turned into two 22 oz beers and A bite turned into chicken wings, pretzel sticks and fried pickles. A dieter's dream! No wait, a FAT MAMMA's dream...make that nightmare. I went to bed feeling guilty for splurging and woke up this morning feeling the same. I did what I knew I had to do, get on the treadmill and get right back on the diet train. Still feeling guilty but trying to realize that spending time with friends that live far away doesn't happen very often.
Reason 2: Daughter is starting a new school program in two weeks. We are very excited for this opportunity and excited that she is once again excited about school. So what does this have to do with me feeling like a FAT MAMMA? Daughter has to wear a uniform. Still not understanding the connection? Daughter is a BIG girl but she hasn't always been a BIG girl. She was an average baby and toddler. About 8 months ago she started to put on a little extra weight. It came on fast despite no real diet/exercise changes. She gained 10 pounds in a month. The doctor was concerned but I assured her that she is VERY active and doesn't eat horribly (this may have been a cover up)...she by far doesn't eat very healthy but she eats an average amount. Needless to say, finding school uniforms that fit the waist of an 8 year old but the height of a 5 year old is not easy. In fact, when daughter tried on what I had bought her, and it didn't fit, I cried. I cried hard. What have I done to my child. Have my poor habits rubbed off on my daughter? DEPRESSING!
I do not want my daughter to be the FAT KID or the one that everyone looks at and thinks that all she does is eat and watch TV. This couldn't be farther from the truth...she runs and plays CONSTANTLY. Eating...well that is something that our entire family needs to work on.
We will fight this battle as a family. I am not willing to be a FAT MAMMA or have FAT KIDS! We have started eating at home and cooking healthier meals and that is a great start! I have to take it one little step at a time, right? I keep telling myself this but I am still feeling pretty craptacular about what has happened in the past 24 hours. Must keep my head up and looking forward!
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