Stress Eating

How many of you KNOW that you eat when you are stressed? I never realized that I did until today. Like I said in yesterday's post, I went back to work this week after almost 5 months off.
Full Time Job + 2 kids + a house to keep up with = a stressed out FAT MAMMA! When I got home today after a 12 hour day, I wanted to stuff my face. It was almost like I wanted to eat out of anger. I am mad that I let work stress me out, I am mad that I don't feel like I can give my family 100% when I am working and I am mad that I am FAT.

I took a step back (actually a step to the kitchen sink to wash bottles) and did some self-talk. I reminded myself that I am doing a great job on this diet and I shouldn't let stress ruin it. I wanted to make a big ole' FAT MAMMA pb & j but I didn't. I had some chicken that the hubs had made yesterday and some pretzels. The chicken took care of my actual hunger and the pretzels took care of my "junk food" craving.

I just have to keep telling myself that it is ok and normal to have stress but it is NOT ok to "cure" my stress with food. Tonight, I am going to put away laundry, that has been sitting in the basket for two days, and try to check a few things off of my home to-do list so I feel like I accomplished something tonight. I really just want to curl up in a ball and cry (or stuff my fat face)...but I am not going to!

Week 5

YIPPEE SKIPPEE! So the weekly weigh in is behind me and guess what? I LOST weight! YAHOO! Actually, I lost A LOT of weight! 3.6 lbs!!!! YIPPEE! I am so excited. That brings my total to 13.0 lbs lost in 5 weeks. Still a FAT MAMMA but once again, a little bit less than one!

Highlights
I WAS REALLY GOOD!
I did not "go out" to dinner. I had fast food a couple of times but each time I was sure to stay within my points range.
I enjoyed lots of healthy meals at home.
I did not drink as much Diet Coke.
I drank a lot more water.

Lowlights
I only got on the treadmill one time! IT HURT!
I still have "dreams" about pigging out. I want to go out to eat and just EAT AND EAT! Not really but kinda!


I am sure there were more lowlights but I am too tired to think. (I started back to work today AND the boy is teething/not sleeping!) I have a couple of posts in line so hopefully I can bust those out this week!

Bonus

Happy Hump Day! I am always on the look out for new foods that are yummy and satisfying. For those of you that know me well, I am a very plain and unadventurous eater. I still eat and cook many of the same things that we ate growing up...and still love them! The Hubs is on his own little diet adventure and is rather restricted in what types of food he can eat so we have spent the last week trying LOTS of new foods...mainly meats. On Sunday we tried Buffalo (Bison) and tonight we had Lamb. The ground bison was mixed with a little bit of salt, pepper and garlic powder and formed into patties (hamburger style) and cooked in a pan. YUMMO! Tonight, Hubs mixed the ground lamb with ground cilantro, cinnamon, thyme, salt, pepper, and cumin. Then he formed them into meatballs and baked them in the oven. Another YUMMO! Now here is the best part...daughter ate BOTH items! We didn't exactly tell her what they were, she thought hamburgers and regular meatballs. We are always asking her to try new food and she never wants to but both times that we "forgot" to tell her she liked the food! Tonight we finally told her what she ate...she was in awe! And that my friends, is a BONUS!

Week 4

I did it! What did I do? I GAINED WEIGHT! Yep...I am a little more of a FAT MAMMA this week than last. But I am at peace with this. I kinda felt it going into tonight's meeting...a feeling in the pit of my stomach. I was actually estimating a two pound gain but to my surprise it was only 1.2 lbs gained.  Like I said, I am OK with this...not happy but OK. Here is what I have for you this week:

Highlights
I took the Little Guy to his daycare for the first time...not really weight related BUT I could have used it as an excuse to eat my sadness away BUT I didn't!
I am still chugging away at the C25K program. Didn't get my three days in this week. Once I get into a routine next week (back to work), I hope to find where it will fit in my daily schedule: AM or PM.
I hosted some neighbor ladies for cards and didn't pig out. I snacked on carrots and grapes.
I made one of my favorite appetizers with lighter ingredients and I couldn't taste the difference.

Lowlights
"Snacked" a little too much this week.
Didn't get on the exercise train enough.
Sat on my A@@ too much. I know this will change when I go back to work next week so I guess I am just trying to enjoy the down time a little bit!

All in all, not a great week but not horribly bad. I am NOT proud of myself but I am PROUD that I am not going to let one detour throw me off my journey! Hopefully this week I will make some better choices and it will show next week!

Side note: I am wondering if the MASSIVE zit on my cheek could possibly weigh 1.2lbs and thus explain the weight gain? The damn thing is HUGE! Guess I will never know!

This Little Gadget



HORRIBLE picture of the Fitbit Ultra

 Is super cool! This is the Fitbit Ultra. I equate it to a pedometer on steroids. A friend of mine had shown me hers a couple of weeks ago, when I was on my way to becoming a SUPER FAT MAMMA. When I decided to start walking/running I knew I needed a way to track myself. I took a look at www.fitbit.com and liked what I saw. The Fitbit tracks, steps, distance, calories burned, and sets of stairs. And those are just the features on the actual device. When you update your dashboard (automatically done when you sit next to your computer), it also gives you all kinds of other great information like how many hours out of the day you are sedentary, active, or even very active. Way cool, huh? You can also track your weight, what you eat and lots of other things but I use WW for those! You also get to personalize a greeting for your Fitbit. Of course, I chose FAT MAMMA so when I use it, it says things like Bonjour, FAT MAMMA!
I have really enjoyed "getting to know" my Fitbit. It is just one more thing to keep me motivated. My goal is 10,000 steps a day...which is actually a lot! I can't wait to see how many steps I take each day when I am working!

Have a great weekend! This FAT MAMMA is headed to a pool party...can't wait until I am not a FAT MAMMA in a bathing suit! Too bad the Fitbit isn't waterproof...might have to do some water walking! DORK, I know!

Fat Mamma's Nightmare

Last weekend the Hubs and I took the kids to the mall to pick up a few things and have dinner. Dinner was a success...NO BEER, a grilled chicken sandwich (with buffalo sauce of course) and a side salad. Shopping was a success...a new "gadget" to aid in my journey (a post on that later). However, while walking around the mall we came upon FAT MAMMAS worst nightmare:

Orange Chicken & Fried Rice- yes please
Spicy Chicken Sandwich & Sweet Tea- damn skippy
Cheese Pizza & Breadsticks- um, of course
Red Velvet Cupcake- sure, why not
Cinnabon- hell yes

I mean come on...all of these places in one location! DREAM COME TRUE for the old FAT MAMMA but not anymore. Any one of these places could have been a detour on my journey but I just kept walking. And SMILING knowing that I was making a good choice!

Week 3

I love it when our Weight Watchers leader ends the meeting. I hope to see less of you next week! At first I didn't really understand what she meant but then I got it! DUH! So Week 3 is in the bag and here is what I have for you:

Highlights
I continued the C25K program and added some abdominal exercises. Lord knows I needed to!
I purchased two new "gadgets" to aid in my journey. More on those at another time!
I tried another new "food". More on that another time!
I ate like crap 3 nights out of 7. Not really a highlight but it tasted soooo good!
After eating/drinking like crap for 3 nights in a row, I jumped right back on the train and continued the journey.
Took the kiddos to the National Zoo and walked over three miles with a 16 lb infant strapped to me, pushing a stroller with a ton of weight in it, and dragging a 4 year old up the hill at the end! AND I WASN'T HUFFING AND PUFFING!
Went out to lunch at a very tempting restaurant but chose a salad (no dressing) and a half sandwich (no cheese) instead!

Lowlights
I ate like crap 3 nights out of 7.
Still haven't mastered the whole saying "NO" thing.
Drank too much Diet Coke. Trying to cut it down to one a day (it is my coffee) but I just seem to need two a day to keep me going.


As I look back at the highlights/lowlights...I am pleased. I am still pumped to be on this journey and I am really enjoying it! I think that the fact that I am enjoying what I am doing helps A LOT! Heading to tonight's meeting I was pretty sure that I would not lose much or maybe even gain and I was OK with that. I had a great week seeing friends that I don't get to see often and celebrating with family. Boy was I surprised when I got on the scale and heard "Good Job, you're down 1.4lbs!" Yep, that's right...I hit the 10lb mark! My total weight lost is 10.6lbs! Not only am I down 10lbs but I have now lost over 5% of my total body weight. Can't wait to hit 10%!!! That my friends,is my motivation this week. It took me 3 weeks to hit 5%, how long do you think it will take me to hit 10%?

Paper Clips

     Hey everyone! I hope you are all having a great start to the weekend! Sorry for the lack of posts...I have been busy spending time with my college roommate! We had a lot of fun, laughed a lot, and ate/drank just a little too much! Oh well...we don't get to see each other too often so it was well worth it!
     As you all know, I am doing Weight Watchers to help myself become healthier and lose a little weight..nah a lot of weight. The first two meetings that I attended we had a "substitute" leader because the regular Monday gal was on vacation. I really liked Teri and was a little sad that she would not be our leader...until I met Marilyn last Monday. She is a breath of fresh air. She is energetic, encouraging, and a former FAT MAMMA. Marilyn is all about finding ways to constantly remind herself (and others) that she is on a journey and trying to do her best to live a healthy lifestyle. So when she asked the group how many people needed paper clips, I was a little confused. The normal Monday people were all excited that the "paper clips were back" and they quickly passed around a box of colorful paperclips. Some people took a few and some people took none. Marilyn informed us that this is a method that she uses to help keep herself motivated. For every pound she loses she adds a colorful clip to her chain. Marilyn's chain is now 50 clips long! There were chains of all different lengths in that meeting...some just 4 or 5 clips and some 20-30 clips! Some people keep their chains hidden and some people have them proudly displayed on their purses and or somewhere else very visual.
     Of course I was very excited to start my chain! I chose my 9 clips (can you guess what color scheme I went with) and made my chain! I decided that I am going to put my chain around my rear-view mirror.Hey, at least it isn't baby booties I am hanging, right!  Why my car, you ask? I am always in my car. At least a couple of times a day and sometimes spending hours a day in my car. Placing the chain in my car will serve as a constant reminder that I am this journey and that I am choosing to make better decisions. I am very excited to watch my chain grow. I am sure there will be weeks that it doesn't grow (probably this week) and there will be weeks that it grows a lot! The longer the chain, the less of a FAT MAMMA I will be!

Fat Mamma Don't Like This Feeling

Today I feel like crap, like a real FAT MAMMA. Two things are weighing heavy on my mind today:

Reason 1:  Last night I splurged. My college roommate is in town for work and last night Hubs watched the munchkins so Brooke and I could do some shopping and hanging out. Before we left I made "yummy" meal. Summer Vegetables with Sausage and Potatoes. Sounds good, right? Well it wasn't. It sucked. I think it was just the chicken sausage that I didn't like. Regardless, I wasn't going to waste points on something that didn't taste yummy. So Brooke and I headed out for some shopping and decided to stop at a local establishment for a bite to eat and a drink. Well, A drink turned into two 22 oz beers and A bite turned into chicken wings, pretzel sticks and fried pickles. A dieter's dream! No wait, a FAT MAMMA's dream...make that nightmare. I went to bed feeling guilty for splurging and woke up this morning feeling the same. I did what I knew I had to do, get on the treadmill and get right back on the diet train. Still feeling guilty but trying to realize that spending time with friends that live far away doesn't happen very often.

Reason 2: Daughter is starting a new school program in two weeks. We are very excited for this opportunity and excited that she is once again excited about school. So what does this have to do with me feeling like a FAT MAMMA? Daughter has to wear a uniform. Still not understanding the connection? Daughter is a BIG girl but she hasn't always been a BIG girl. She was an average baby and toddler. About 8 months ago she started to put on a little extra weight. It came on fast despite no real diet/exercise changes. She gained 10 pounds in a month. The doctor was concerned but I assured her that she is VERY active and doesn't eat horribly (this may have been a cover up)...she by far doesn't eat very healthy but she eats an average amount. Needless to say, finding school uniforms that fit the waist of an 8 year old but the height of a 5 year old is not easy. In fact, when daughter tried on what I had bought her, and it didn't fit, I cried. I cried hard. What have I done to my child. Have my poor habits rubbed off on my daughter? DEPRESSING!
I do not want my daughter to be the FAT KID or the one that everyone looks at and thinks that all she does is eat and watch TV. This couldn't be farther from the truth...she runs and plays CONSTANTLY. Eating...well that is something that our entire family needs to work on.

We will fight this battle as a family. I am not willing to be a FAT MAMMA or have FAT KIDS! We have started eating at home and cooking healthier meals and that is a great start! I have to take it one little step at a time, right? I keep telling myself this but I am still feeling pretty craptacular about what has happened in the past 24 hours. Must keep my head up and looking forward!

Last Night I Made These...

...and I promptly threw them away. I had the itch to bake so I made some lemon poppy seed muffins . Daughter had a bite and said they were yucky so I promptly threw them away. I didn't need the temptation in the house so I just got rid of them!
However, tonight I made these...


Buffalo Chicken Lettuce Wraps

 ...and they were DELICIOUS! I found the recipe on www.skinnytaste.com and decided to give them a try. I love all things buffalo and these did not disappoint. It was an easy crock pot recipe, too! This meal was VERY low fat for me since this FAT MAMMA don't like blue cheese! Even the Hubs really liked this meal! SCORE!

Week 2

Week 2 is in the bag and I am still feeling GOOD! I'm still a FAT MAMMA but I am a little bit less of one again this week.

Highlights of Week 2
I added exercise into my life.
I tried a new food and liked it...qunioa. Have you ever had it? If so leave me a comment about how you like to prepare it/eat it.
I purchased a new food scale and started to use it in order to be more diligent about just how much I am eating.
I am still highly motivated to not be a FAT MAMMA!
I took the kids on a solo road trip...a first with two. Not really weight related but there will be a post about how it was weight related.



Lowlights of Week 2
I just couldn't say no to a margarita at my Aunt's house. But it was GOOOOD! Must keep working on willpower.
I had a few times that I ate "just a bite" and felt terribly guilty.
I ate a lot of processed foods...too many frozen diet meals.

As you can see, I am really trying to take the time to think about what I am doing/eating each and every day. It's hard but I must be mindful about how, what and when I eat...it really does help. I knew going into tonight's weigh in that I would be "disappointed". Not really b/c like I said last week, 10 lbs or 0.1 lbs...a loss is a loss and I must be happy with however much I lose. I am happy to say that I once again had a great weigh-in...-2.6lbs! That puts my two week total at 9.2lbs.

Looking ahead at this week, it's going to be tough. I am having lunch with friends and a family birthday dinner. My goal is to plan ahead so I can make the best possible choices. Wish me luck!

Where Oh Where Has My Treadmill Gone?

Do you see it? Do you see the treadmill? It's there, I promise! Did you know that you can pile a lot of shit  on a treadmill? They actually make a great stacking platform. When I went downstairs the other day this was just another sign to me that I am a FAT MAMMA. Several months ago we moved the treadmill out of the main room in the basement so Daughter had more room to play. The treadmill actually fits perfectly in this little nook in the back room. When we moved it to the back it was a nice clean area that we said would be perfect for some exercise. BUT since I am a FAT MAMMA this never happened. Instead I used it to stack crap that I was sick of looking at. Last Monday I went down to the basement and started to unearth the treadmill that was buried among the junk.

Not a very good picture but there is actually a lot of room in the nook.

Turns out that it is quite nice to go down there and run. It is quiet (except for my music) and it is COLD! I have some visions in my head of what I would like to do in the nook to help motivate myself and make my time down there even more enjoyable. We will just have to wait and see if the Hubs allows me to make my visions come to reality.

I hope you all have a great Monday and great week! Stay tuned later today...it is WEIGH IN DAY! As always, feel free to send me a message or leave a comment...your comments (let me know there are actually people reading and keep me motivated)!

Old Motto

For as long as I can remember, well probably since I started getting fat, I had a saying, a motto, a comeback..whatever you want to call it. Anytime someone would engage me in conversation about their diet or how they wanted to lose weight, I would say, "I'd rather be fat and happy than skinny and hungry." Of course this type of conversation usually happened as I was stuffing my face with something of no nutritional value. I guess I always assumed that being skinny/healthy made one grumpy. I assumed wrong. I do have to say that there have been a few occasions in the past two weeks that I have been a grumpy miserable bitch but those occasions have been few and far between. For the most part, eating healthy and exercising has made me a happier and more positive person.

I have been thinking a lot about this "motto" and what I really meant by using it all the time. Excuses...it all boils down to excuses. When someone would talk about eating/dieting and I would say this to them, I was just using it as an excuse for my poor eating habits and to make myself not feel so bad for engaging in destructive eating activities. I now realize just how detrimental this type of thinking can be. It is exactly this type of mindset that lead me to be a FAT MAMMA.

I think I can...I think I can...

I definitely jumped with both feet into this whole healthier lifestyle thing. I knew that if I didn't start to exercise that my weightloss would be just that...weight lost. As you all know, my tummy is my biggest battle...you've seen the pictures.So this week I started to add some exercise into my day.

I am the kind of person that has to have a goal in order to stay on track. For example, I am not going to go out and walk, run, bike, or anything of the sorts just for fun. Tell me that in 15 weeks I will be riding my bike 100 miles in one day and I will figure out a way to do it (I did it twice actually). So, I knew that I had to have a goal. My  friend Katie was over visiting and we were discussing weightloss and being healthier and she mentioned that she had just started the Couch to 5k program. I stopped her right there. "LET'S DO IT."

Yes sir, I signed up for my first 5k "race". Katie and I will be doing the Great Pumpkin 5k in Reston, VA on October 6th. This means that I have approximately 66 days to literally go from couch to 5k! The Couch25k program makes it pretty easy. Last night and tonight consisted of a 5 minute warm up followed by 20 minutes of alternating 60 seconds of jogging and 90 seconds of walking and finally a 5 minute cool down. Not too bad!

Fat Mamma's not gonna lie...I do NOT like to run so I am a little worried! Hopefully, I will continue to like the program and be able to keep up with it. Wish me luck!